Pain
by Cyhyr
Summary: Demyx has been going to Zexion every morning since he came to the Organization, broken and used. But, now he's had enough and he's taking it out on Zexion. kinda dark. rated for language and a short,nonexplicit lemon. Oneshot. OOC, srry. revised.


Pain

I have no emotions. I can not feel.

I wish I could still say that…

Ever since number nice came, I can't keep an emotionless face. How can anyone? Demyx… he's perfect. Everyone agrees with me. Unfortunately, everyone else has also already had him. He comes to _me_, crying, limping, every morning.

Because I'm the only one who hasn't done him yet.

He trusts me. I can't betray that trust by doing to him what he cries to me about.

One morning, I'm sitting at my desk, reading a very interesting novel. He knocks quietly and calls my name. "Zexion?" I put the book down and go to the door, letting him in. He stumbles into my arms, burns up and down his arms and face. I carry him to my bed where he lays down and starts to cry.

Seeing him cry makes me want to cry as well. It pains me that he lets them do this. It hurts that he won't tell them to stop. I sit next to him and rub his side gently- if he has a burn there, too, I don't want to hurt him. He winces at my touch, and I can't help but think that he's got a burn; or maybe he's scared that I might turn on him and touch him in other places. But how can I, when he begs me silently not to hurt him anymore than he is.

Silence speaks loudly when it's Demyx being silent.

"Was it Axel last night?" I ask, knowing it was. Axel is a horny fuck that is _not_ afraid to bed anything. He topped _me_ his second night here, and I came out of his room with burns the same as Demyx the next morning.

He nods slowly. "He… the bed… on fire… and told me not to… water it down… it burned… still does," he whimpers as I brush my fingertips across a shiny bruise. A hickey that was also licked by flames.

An hour passes, he falls asleep. I stand up and close the curtains on my window so it's dark. I don't want to wake him. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. Sitting next to him on my bed, I start to wonder.

Why? Why does he let them control him like this? Does he like the pain? But, no, he can't- doesn't he cry from the pain? Why does he come to me when he's hurting, other than the fact that I've never bedded him yet? Doesn't he realize that I've wanted to be in their position since he came here? Sure, I would never force him into sex, but I still want him. How can he not tell?

"Zexion?" he mutters, half-opening his eyes. Dammit, I couldn't keep him asleep.

"Yes, Demyx?"

He sits up in the bed and looks at me. He leans forward a bit to me. Doesn't his ass hurt? How can he do that? Is he high? Drunk? _Both?_ He's getting closer, why am I not pushing him back??? He puts a hand behind my head and pulls me to him, our lips connecting.

Oh. My. Fucking. _God._

He's kissing me!

Demyx pulls me down on the bed and climbs on top of me, still connected by our mouths. He kneels between my legs, prying them apart- though, I move them aside willingly. He moves his mouth down to my neck and starts to suck harshly while his hands pull at the zipper on my cloak. All the way down… I pull my arms out of their sleeves and try to get Demyx's cloak off as well.

Where the fuck is that zipper???

He smirks into the kiss and moves his hands from my waist to the front of his cloak and sits up to take it off. He leans back down again, hands back on my waist, catching my lips and pushing his tongue through them. As good as I feel right now, in this position, I can't help but feel there's a catch.

"Demyx…" I breath into his mouth. He pulls back a bit, his nose still touching mine. He asks me what's wrong, don't I like it? "Of course I like it, Demyx," I answer. "What I don't understand is why."

I've never seen his eyes go so cold. He growls and talks to my neck. "I'm so fucking sick of being used by everyone. Last night, with Axel, was the last fucking straw and I'm _not_ going to submit to anyone again.

"Zexion, I've wanted to do this to you since I came, but I've been too shy. Too much of my time has been taken up by everyone else, so I came to you in the mornings to see you, to get them out of my head and _you_ in my head. And every single fucking night, I've waited for you to invite me to bed because I was too shy to ask you myself.

"So, I'm taking advantage of you being right here." He moves up to my ear, nips it and continues: "And I am going to pound you into this bed _so fucking hard_ that you won't be able to walk for a week." His hands move from my waist to my pants, pulling them down; he follows this by taking his own pair off. All this while, I'm thinking one thing.

_Fuck._

Yeah, I want this. I've wanted to have sex with Demyx forever. But, now, I'm having my doubts that I want it _like this_. He's not going to go easy on me just because I'm a "friend." If anything, that'll make him thrust harder…

He latches onto my neck and I find that this is _not _pleasure. Oh, shit, his dick is right at my ass. I don't even get a chance to grip the sheets properly when he thrusts in. _All the way in._ I just scream. Shit, it fucking hurts! Demyx tells me to shut up as he starts to move. Fast. _Hard_. I bite my lip and scrunch my eyes together as he bruises my hips. I swear; something's tearing in my ass.

He's spazzing, moaning, moving _so fast_. Cumming up my insides. He stops, then slumps on top of me, not pulling out. He's sweaty and breathing hard. I never even got hard from this fuck; my ass hurts. He wasn't joking when he said I won't be able to walk for a week.

I know this is good for Demyx- he won't let himself be used anymore- but I don't think he realizes what he's let himself become. I'm in the same position he is every morning when he comes in- broken, used, in fucking _pain_.

He's sleeping now, his nose buried in my neck. I whisper: "You've become who you've hated, Demyx…" My voice cracks as I say this and I start sobbing. Though, I try my hardest not to let my chest spasm. Demyx might wake up. If Demyx wakes up, he'll move… and my ass is sore enough as it is with him just inside. I don't want to think about how much it'll hurt if he starts moving again.

Why is it every attempt I make to keep him asleep make him wake up? He shifts his hips, moving inside me. I whimper and grip the sheets, biting my lip again. He slowly pulls out and I gasp, able to breathe properly now. I shudder as some of his cum seeps out of my ass now that the plug- his dick- is gone. If I knew that he was sorry for hurting me, I might not even take notice. But, now, I feel like such a whore, watching him dress in front of me as I lay on my bed, unable to move. He tore something in my ass, I know it.

He sits back on my bed next to me, like I have to him countless times. I try to pull my pants back up to cover myself, but I can't move my hips at all. It hurts so much. I just pull the covers over my body as Demyx couldn't see me. I turn my top half away from him, not able to move my lower body. Demyx says my name quietly, pleadingly, but I tell him off for whatever he was going to say. "I don't want to hear it, Demyx."

How long he sat on the edge of my bed, I don't know. I can tell he's sorry for what he's done, but I don't care. It doesn't change what happened between us. Can I even call it rape? It wasn't really unwanted on either side, but it was certainly forced on mine. I just laid there, sobbing quietly.

"Zexion, can you listen to me?" I say nothing to this, but he continues. "I'm sorry… I'll stay here until you get better… if you're ok with me being here, of course. If you don't want me here, I'll leave. I… I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you, Zexion."

At least it was verbal. As much as I don't want him near me, I don't want to be alone…. No one else would even bother checking up on me if I don't show up for meals. Demyx would always check on me if he wasn't already in my room. "Demyx… I don't care… do what makes _you_ feel better. This is all about _you_ after all."

The bed shifts. Demyx lays down next to me, picking my hips up carefully and putting me on my side. He holds me with my back against his chest. I shake and sob as he whispers in my ear his apologies, over and over again.

We fall asleep. Maybe, someday, we'll do this again. If that happens, maybe we'll be sleeping just like this, but I'll be able to sleep peacefully. Without worrying that he'll turn on me and fuck me senseless. Maybe, next time we do this, it won't hurt as much.

Until then, though, I'm _off_ sex.

* * *

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is not mine.

A/N: Well, this was… interesting… to write. Ha, my first lemon. Sucked. _Badly_. OOC-ness, and I'm sorry, but I hadn't written a Zexion/Demyx, and this plot was _bugging_ me. And, I didn't want to have Axel and Roxas do this. 'Cause I can't see it. I could just _barely_ see Demyx and Zexion, though, so that's what I wrote. This is an updated version- there were some things I went back and caught and changed. The original is no different, so don't worry, 'k?

Dexion Day is 9/6!!! I'll have the sequel to this up then, so stay in touch!


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